Category: depression

a place for you, book, depression, God, grace, Healing, healing and deliverance, journey, land of Oz, life, live, love, purpose, the butterfly journey, women, worthlessness

A Place for You

livingwholecoaching

There have been times in my life when I thought I wouldn’t make it to another day.  The feeling of endless sadness and pain.  So many disappointments, far too many to count.  And this feeling of pure worthlessness.  But I knew intellectually that people cared about me and loved me but this feeling grew larger than my common sense.  It drowned my rational thinking like it was nothing.  It had me teetering on the edge of life itself.

I know I have talked about my depression a lot because it was one of the most difficult times in my life.  I never had experienced something so strong that was not a tangible thing that it baffled my normal thought process.  The more I tried to figure it out the more elusive it became.  You can’t even articulate the feelings in real words.  The more you try the more frustrated you become and you just begin to give up.

I suffered in this place of depression for over 730 days and I know other people have dealt with this terrible sickness for years and never really have come full circle from it.  I pray for those people everyday, for the strength to battle this monster with no face.  This enemy of mind and emotion.  This life threatening fog of doubt, fear and loneliness.

Once I received my full healing and deliverance from God.  I was inspired to write about my journey to this place of darkness and back to a place far better than what I left.  A place of purpose and confidence.  A place of undying love and grace.  I am forever grateful to God for saving me from this place of torment.

You really don’t realize that people all around you suffer from some sort of pain that they don’t openly share with others.  We work beside people who have suffered emotional and physical abuse from their parents.  Others that may have been damaged by things that happened to them in relationships.  They hide these things that have shaped who they are today because it is not accepted.  But we all are in the same boat, yet none of us want to open up and cry for help.  We would rather suffer silently and die a slow death inside ourselves than look like a failure or  be judged by the very ones who say they care.

My story, coming soon in a book form is for those kindred spirits that are lost in the land of Oz (depression) or some other sort of terrible place with no avenue of escape; nowhere to run to; to find release.  The Butterfly Journey is a place where you can share and feel safe that no one will judge where you have been or what has happened to you.  You can come to us and get the encouragement and rest that for so long you have needed.  A place of peace!

We can’t walk this path of life alone.  God is always there and we are his vessels in which to show you that you can be free of all that “stuff” and walk down a new path with your head held up, shoulders back and with an assurance that you do matter and you have purpose in this life.

Won’t you join us?  www.thebutterflyjourney.com or www.facebook.com/thebutterflysjourney

We have a place reserved just for you!  The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa

connection, danger zone, depression, destiny, God, life, live, people pleaser, purpose, the butterfly journey, women

Danger Zone!

livingwholecoaching

I have realized after a tragic break-down in my life that I was a people pleaser.  While it is not all bad to want to make people happy, or help them fulfil their destiny or reach their goals, it can be a danger zone for you-the pleaser.  I was talking to a woman the other day that was suffering from a typical case of people pleasing and I noticed it right away once she began to tell me her story.

What I discovered about myself is that I was a high level people pleaser, not your normal good friend that wants to help but I wanted to please every person that I connected with no matter what level of connection that we had.  It could be my family members, my boss, my boyfriend, my friends, and sometimes  strangers.  I really was living in a danger zone!

The danger comes because as people pleasers we don’t have a cut-off valve.  We will continue to pour out of ourselves until we fall over dead – literally!  We don’t have an internal stop button that tells us that is enough you can’t do anymore.  Well we really do but we ignore it for the sake of not disappointing others.

Unfortunately, people pleasers will find themselves surrounded by others that will feed on their desire to please.  They may not realize it but those type of people will develop an unhealthy connection to the pleaser and begin to “use” them to their own benefit.

The terrible lesson that I had to learn after my 2-year bout with a deep dark depression is that I needed only to please God!  He loves me  enough to not allow me to pour out more into Him than He was pouring back into me!

He showed me that it is okay to say “no” to some things especially if you know it could possibly take you over the point of being overwhelmed.  You just need to explain your situation and most people will understand.  It is up to the pleaser to stop the pleasing, because we are the ones who know how we feel.

Now I take it very serious about what I involve myself with; if I start to feel overwhelmed with too much stuff to do or being involved with I stop myself.  I am blessed that I have someone in my life now that can see if more clearly than I can and will tell me “you’re doing too much”.

Take an inventory of your life today and make sure you are not on the edge of a danger zone.  Make sure that you are not pouring out more of yourself than you are being poured into.  Let God show you how to line up your life and activity with what pleases Him and live a healthy balanced life.

I would love to hear from other “people pleasers” and I would love to help you get to a place of purpose and balance.

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa

 

coach, depression, facebook, journey, plans, purpose, radical, women

Radical Change

livingwholecoaching

The strangest thing happened this morning while writing my blog.  I completed what I thought was a pretty good blog and hit “publish”, all seemed well until I went to view the post and only the title was there.  Technical glitch or something else?  I understand that the opposite of good is evil and we can’t remain naive to the fact that the adversary is lurking around to try to “halt” the mighty plans of the Lord.  Unfortunately for him that is not an option.  Whatever plans the Lord sets in motion will prevail!

The ones close to me know that my life today is nowhere near where I was over 2 years ago.  I was stuck in a place of depression with little hope to make it through to the other side of sane much less a place of purpose and abundance.  But you see the journey that the Lord placed me on was a divine intervention of my life.  I truly have been transformed by the renewing of my mind.

It has taken an emotional toll on me to write about the place of desolation that I was in but God knew that was where I needed to be in order to be radically changed for His purpose in life.

I could have wasted away in my place of darkness, but instead God had plans far brighter than my most horrific days of depression.  It reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures: Jeremiah 29:11 ~ “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God has great plans for your life too.  A radical change is waiting to take place in your life right in the middle of your struggles.  Will you embrace it?  Will you die in your place of desperation?  Or will you decide to live out your true purpose and have an abundant life full of promise, healing, and restoration?

I am here to help you through your journey; to coach you, to help you find the resources that you need to catapult you to the next level, and to pray for you in the midst of your storms.  Are you ready for your radical change today?

Join The Butterfly Journey Facebook page by clicking the “like” button and begin to live out your God-given plans!

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa

depression, God, Healing, hurting women, journey, Mirror, Tough questions

The Woman in the Mirror

livingwholecoaching

When I was suffering from depression and beginning my healing process with God; I had to ask myself some tough questions.  Why did I end up that way?  What were some of the things that I personally did that contributed to my situation?

It took all the emotional strength that I could muster up to ask those questions.  I was frightened more by the thought of what the answers were.  But I had to know, I couldn’t move forward in my healing without knowing the truth.  I never wanted to travel to that place again.

As I saw myself in the mirror of God’s eyes it cut me as deep as a double-edged sword.  The darkness that surrounded me was overwhelming.  I didn’t even recognize myself.  But in the writing of my book I now realize now raw those pains still are.  Whenever I share my testimony, I get emotional about the imagery that God showed me of my life.  It grieves my soul!

But still everyday, I look in that mirror of myself to see where I am now.  I see the miraculous changes that only God could do.  I see a woman full of life and purpose.  I see the light of life surrounding me taking the place of the darkness that once followed and plagued me.  I can’t forget that woman in the mirror, she is my sister, my friend, she is me.  I will continue to advocate for her and pray for her and help her to find her place in life.  It is not easy looking at yourself in the mirror; seeing your life as it really is.

But I wanted to endure that so that I can be real for other women who are going through their storms of life.  I want to tell them the whole process; every detail is important to the healing process and growth.  You can’t just give someone  the beginning and the end and never share the middle of your story.  It does them no good at all.  Everyone wants to know that they are not the only one who has suffered, who has gone through bad things.  They want to relate to some piece of your story so they know that you truly understand.

Once they see you on the other side they wonder if they too can be healed.  That is why it is so important for me to share, to minister, to pray with and to love all the hurting women no matter what they face because I know that through it all God can redeem you.  He can and He will turn your ashes into beauty if you allow Him to.

If only I could touch a 1,000 lives then I know my journey would not have been in vain.

The Butterfly Journey – Lisa

depression, Faith, God, hurting women, journey, self-discovery, worthy

Losing Myself to Find Myself

livingwholecoaching

The darkness was intense.  The eerie soundless space was unnerving.  It was as if all living things had disappeared.  I found myself drowning in a pit of sadness and loneliness for over 730 days of pure torment.  This place of depression had stolen my life as I once knew it and there was nothing that I could do.

As unbearable as it was at the time, I wouldn’t change anything; because out of my pit of despair came life.  When God delivered me from the shame and pain of the place I found myself in, I was different.  I was not the same anymore.

He showed me that through this process, although painful, made me useful for His purpose.  Once healed I am able to share my story with other hurting women and help them on their journey to wholeness.  I found my “true” self.

Now I have hope and purpose!  I have the understanding of who I really am and whose I am.  I no longer have to conform to the people or situations around me that pull out all of my good for their own purposes.  And leave me empty and useless to myself and God.

God I am grateful for losing my worldly self to find my “true” worthy self in you.

It is true it is a process and your journey might not look exactly like mine, but nonetheless it is a process for whatever you are going through.  But you must: 1. embrace your journey, 2. self-discovery – understand your role in the mess of your life, 3. seek your worth from the one who made you (God), 4. repent and change by building a new relationship with God 5. understand and pursue your purpose.

Let’s find the real you today!  Email me @ lisa@thebutterflyjourney.net

The Butterfly Journey – Lisa

depression, Faith, journey, Joy, New

I’m New Again!

livingwholecoaching

God is so gracious to us!  When I found myself drowning in a pit of depression I never thought I would make it out.  It was the worst time in my life.   I had no one to turn to; no one reached out to me.  It was just hopelessness and darkness.  But God…

God was not only in the pit with me, but He lifted me up and out as a brand new “me”.   He made me NEW!

It was a tough process, but like the caterpillar’s transformation process, it was necessary so that I could FLY.  I am grateful for the entire experience, as it has made me a new person.  I now have clarity about who I really am, my worth in God, and my purpose in life.

I no longer have to conform to the people or things around me to feel valued.  I am free to be me and I will no longer seek the approval of “man”.  I will be excellent in all that I do, but temporal praise is not my goal.  I thrive now for a more eternal approval.  I no longer worship the gifts, more than the Giver!

I am new again!  I was broken in a million pieces and God put me back on the potter’s wheel and transformed my life.  I am now a useful vessel for His purpose.

You know the joy that is expressed in the Bible; that unspeakable joy? That’s what I have with God.   It is not conditioned to any circumstance or situation but it is there all the time.  Even when the storms of life coming crashing down, it is there.  Follow God, He will not lead you astray.  He will replace your ashes for beauty and give you joy, unspeakable!

Embrace your life’s challenges and seek clarity in what God is trying to show you about yourself.  It will renew your spirit.  It will make you new again!

The Buttefly Journey – Lisa