Category: connection

connection, God, Healing, hearing, journey, listening

Please Hear Me

livingwholecoaching

I have experienced too many times conversations were I walked away with a strong feeling that I was not heard.  It is a frustrating feeling, but more than that it is a feeling of not mattering.  It is truly disheartening to feel like someone doesn’t get what you are trying to say.

As verbal beings we all have the need to be heard, to be understood, and to be valued for who we are.  I have not been a good listener to my friends sometimes and for that I am sorry.  I didn’t realize the impact of not effectively listening to a person can be.  It really takes a committed mind and person to want to effectively listen to someone else’s story.  Whether it good or bad everyone wants an opportunity to voice what is on their minds and in their hearts.

It is not easy to share your deepest feelings or problems, but when you get the nerve to do so you at least want the recipient to be listening.  Really listening.

Have you ever poured out your heart about something that you were going through to someone and then have them just jump over to another subject?  You are left with a questionable look on your face like really did they just not hear what I just said or do they even care about what I said.  Sometimes it is the latter but I find most of the time it is a lack of listening skills.

Since I am on my journey to helping hurting women, I realize now more than ever that I need to really be listening to their words, their actions, non-verbal cues and I will need to dig deeper into the words that they don’t say to really understand where they truly are and what they have endured.  I have asked God to give me a deeper level of discernment to be able to see their spirits as He sees them.  I can’t go with my limited human ability to understand some of the pain that they may have experienced.  It may be that I have never experienced that sort of trauma myself so I need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit in order to understand where they are and how I can help and pray for them.  It is not going to be an easy task, but for the sake of someone’s healing I am committed to being that “true” listening partner.

I suffer from severe insomnia in which my doctor prescribed me sleeping pills.  Well of course I would rather just drink a warm glass of milk or do something more on the natural level to get some sleep.  But sometimes when my body can go no more on the limited hours of sleep that it gets, it desperately needs to rest and so I breakdown and rely on the medicine to get what my body needs.  It is no joke not being able to rest your body.   When someone who cares about you says; “wow I wish I could sleep in”,  knowing that you suffer from a lack of sleep it really hurts your feelings.  It seems as if they don’t care.  But I have decided perhaps they don’t really understand the severity of my condition and are just speaking out of ignorance.

I challenge you all to try to make a commitment to those around you to really listen to what they are trying to say.  Sometimes they may not be able to articulate it eloquently through words, sometimes you will need to go behind the words or the actions to really be able to understand.  Just try to look at things from their perspective and be understanding and never judging.  We all should have the opportunity to be heard.  Please hear me.

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa

connection, danger zone, depression, destiny, God, life, live, people pleaser, purpose, the butterfly journey, women

Danger Zone!

livingwholecoaching

I have realized after a tragic break-down in my life that I was a people pleaser.  While it is not all bad to want to make people happy, or help them fulfil their destiny or reach their goals, it can be a danger zone for you-the pleaser.  I was talking to a woman the other day that was suffering from a typical case of people pleasing and I noticed it right away once she began to tell me her story.

What I discovered about myself is that I was a high level people pleaser, not your normal good friend that wants to help but I wanted to please every person that I connected with no matter what level of connection that we had.  It could be my family members, my boss, my boyfriend, my friends, and sometimes  strangers.  I really was living in a danger zone!

The danger comes because as people pleasers we don’t have a cut-off valve.  We will continue to pour out of ourselves until we fall over dead – literally!  We don’t have an internal stop button that tells us that is enough you can’t do anymore.  Well we really do but we ignore it for the sake of not disappointing others.

Unfortunately, people pleasers will find themselves surrounded by others that will feed on their desire to please.  They may not realize it but those type of people will develop an unhealthy connection to the pleaser and begin to “use” them to their own benefit.

The terrible lesson that I had to learn after my 2-year bout with a deep dark depression is that I needed only to please God!  He loves me  enough to not allow me to pour out more into Him than He was pouring back into me!

He showed me that it is okay to say “no” to some things especially if you know it could possibly take you over the point of being overwhelmed.  You just need to explain your situation and most people will understand.  It is up to the pleaser to stop the pleasing, because we are the ones who know how we feel.

Now I take it very serious about what I involve myself with; if I start to feel overwhelmed with too much stuff to do or being involved with I stop myself.  I am blessed that I have someone in my life now that can see if more clearly than I can and will tell me “you’re doing too much”.

Take an inventory of your life today and make sure you are not on the edge of a danger zone.  Make sure that you are not pouring out more of yourself than you are being poured into.  Let God show you how to line up your life and activity with what pleases Him and live a healthy balanced life.

I would love to hear from other “people pleasers” and I would love to help you get to a place of purpose and balance.

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa

 

book, brokenness, connection, God, grief, hurting women, journey, the butterfly journey, women

Are You Connected?

livingwholecoaching

Con-nec-tion: a relationship in which a person, thing, or idea is linked or associated with something else.

What or who are you connected with?  Are your connections a positive influence in your life?  Are they challenging you to be the best you that you can be?  We all are connected with something or someone at some point in our lives.  So it is all the more important to make sure those connections have your best interest in mind.  It is also great to be a part of something or something that is more than what you can be or do by yourself.

Connections whether big or small allow us to have more ability together than we would have if we were alone.  A three strand cord is stronger than one strand.

As we journey through life’s trials and triumphs we should share with the connection of people who are like-minded in our cause or passion.  Together you can move mountains!  God created us to be dependant upon each other, not in the sense that we replace Him, but sometimes we need that physical connection with others to encourage us through.

When you hear good news or you have accomplished something great, what is the first thing you do?  Call one of your friends.  We are dependant people and it feels good to have someone to enjoy our accomplishments with.   Likewise, when we are going through our toughest hours or some tragedy has occurred, we long for someone to come to hold us and let us know that they are there.  Whether they can help the situation or not, we yearn for that physical connection.

My friend, Denise Hall Brown, just finished writing her first book called; 2Grieve 2Gether.  It is all about her journey through grief from several tragedies that happened in her life.  One of the main points is that we shouldn’t go through this process alone.  We need others to come along side of us to just be there.  It doesn’t matter where the grief comes from because there are all sorts and levels that occur in our lives daily, but the important thing is to share, connect, be there.

Just knowing that you have someone or a group of people in the world that are there to support you when you need to be uplifted or to be there to cheer you on when you are living your best life, is one of the most important parts about life.

That is why God created The Butterfly Journey ministry. God showed me many women in the world suffering with brokeness, grief, unworthiness; alone.  They feel they have no one to turn to not even Him.  And that is my mission to reach those women who need someone to come along side of them in their situations, to listen, help, pray with, and encourage them back to wholeness in Christ.

Are you connected?  Reach out to your connection, your circle of friends or family that have been there for you during the good and bad times and “thank” them for being your connection to God.

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa