Category: people pleaser

depression, God, Joy, people pleaser, purpose, women

Women It’s Your Time!

livingwholecoaching

When I began my “butterfly journey”, I didn’t realize how many women in the world were suffering with the same issues that I myself had dealt with for so long.  But I am noticing that it is a common theme for most of us to lose ourselves, our worth, our purpose, and our faith while doing life.

You know when I think about life it is so much more than just working, cleaning, taking care of others etc.  God created it to be a time to understand who He is, understand of ourselves, our worth, our purpose and each other.  One of His greatest commandments is to love thy neighbor as thyself.  But we fall short on this because we lose the ability to love ourselves.  Our society is full of the message that it is selfish to do things for yourself, especially women.  But we must if we are ever going to reach the full potential of our lives as God has planned.

We are expected to have a career, raise a family, be competitive, have a great shape, complete our education, do the laundry, clean the house, serve in the church, take care of our extended family and whole host of other things!  Whew, that made me tired just typing it out!  And nothing is wrong with any of this, we do have responsibilities, but then where do we fit God in all of this?  That’s the missing link!  We end up doing all this and more and we lose our relationship with the one who can give us everything we need.  That’s what happened to me and I am not proud to admit it but it’s the truth.

My personality is one of “people pleaser” or so it was.  I had to fit in and make people pleased with me and my abilities.  What happened was I could finally take no more and I shut down; emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically.  I was a wreck!  I suffered a deep depression for over 2 years and tried desperately to figure out what happened to me.  That’s when my “butterfly journey” began. When I could suffer no more, God showed me my life using the analogy of a caterpillar’s journey to becoming a butterfly, to illustrate where I had gone all wrong. (The Butterfly’s Journey book to be released April 2012)!

The main thing (a relationship with God) had become a secondary, or really even third or fourth place in my life.  I was literally in a place of hell (separated from God) and it was horrific to say the least!  I didn’t understand my “true” worth in Him; I only knew what my worth was to others and to them I was disposable, even to some I was garbage.

I let the God of my creation heal me from the inside out and my life has never been the same.  Through my pain He gave me my purpose, through my tears He gave me joy, and through my newly established relationship, He showed me my worth!

It’s time ladies to take your rightful places in life and live a transformed life with purpose in God!

The Butterfly Journey – Lisa

connection, danger zone, depression, destiny, God, life, live, people pleaser, purpose, the butterfly journey, women

Danger Zone!

livingwholecoaching

I have realized after a tragic break-down in my life that I was a people pleaser.  While it is not all bad to want to make people happy, or help them fulfil their destiny or reach their goals, it can be a danger zone for you-the pleaser.  I was talking to a woman the other day that was suffering from a typical case of people pleasing and I noticed it right away once she began to tell me her story.

What I discovered about myself is that I was a high level people pleaser, not your normal good friend that wants to help but I wanted to please every person that I connected with no matter what level of connection that we had.  It could be my family members, my boss, my boyfriend, my friends, and sometimes  strangers.  I really was living in a danger zone!

The danger comes because as people pleasers we don’t have a cut-off valve.  We will continue to pour out of ourselves until we fall over dead – literally!  We don’t have an internal stop button that tells us that is enough you can’t do anymore.  Well we really do but we ignore it for the sake of not disappointing others.

Unfortunately, people pleasers will find themselves surrounded by others that will feed on their desire to please.  They may not realize it but those type of people will develop an unhealthy connection to the pleaser and begin to “use” them to their own benefit.

The terrible lesson that I had to learn after my 2-year bout with a deep dark depression is that I needed only to please God!  He loves me  enough to not allow me to pour out more into Him than He was pouring back into me!

He showed me that it is okay to say “no” to some things especially if you know it could possibly take you over the point of being overwhelmed.  You just need to explain your situation and most people will understand.  It is up to the pleaser to stop the pleasing, because we are the ones who know how we feel.

Now I take it very serious about what I involve myself with; if I start to feel overwhelmed with too much stuff to do or being involved with I stop myself.  I am blessed that I have someone in my life now that can see if more clearly than I can and will tell me “you’re doing too much”.

Take an inventory of your life today and make sure you are not on the edge of a danger zone.  Make sure that you are not pouring out more of yourself than you are being poured into.  Let God show you how to line up your life and activity with what pleases Him and live a healthy balanced life.

I would love to hear from other “people pleasers” and I would love to help you get to a place of purpose and balance.

The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa