I have experienced too many times conversations were I walked away with a strong feeling that I was not heard. It is a frustrating feeling, but more than that it is a feeling of not mattering. It is truly disheartening to feel like someone doesn’t get what you are trying to say.
As verbal beings we all have the need to be heard, to be understood, and to be valued for who we are. I have not been a good listener to my friends sometimes and for that I am sorry. I didn’t realize the impact of not effectively listening to a person can be. It really takes a committed mind and person to want to effectively listen to someone else’s story. Whether it good or bad everyone wants an opportunity to voice what is on their minds and in their hearts.
It is not easy to share your deepest feelings or problems, but when you get the nerve to do so you at least want the recipient to be listening. Really listening.
Have you ever poured out your heart about something that you were going through to someone and then have them just jump over to another subject? You are left with a questionable look on your face like really did they just not hear what I just said or do they even care about what I said. Sometimes it is the latter but I find most of the time it is a lack of listening skills.
Since I am on my journey to helping hurting women, I realize now more than ever that I need to really be listening to their words, their actions, non-verbal cues and I will need to dig deeper into the words that they don’t say to really understand where they truly are and what they have endured. I have asked God to give me a deeper level of discernment to be able to see their spirits as He sees them. I can’t go with my limited human ability to understand some of the pain that they may have experienced. It may be that I have never experienced that sort of trauma myself so I need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit in order to understand where they are and how I can help and pray for them. It is not going to be an easy task, but for the sake of someone’s healing I am committed to being that “true” listening partner.
I suffer from severe insomnia in which my doctor prescribed me sleeping pills. Well of course I would rather just drink a warm glass of milk or do something more on the natural level to get some sleep. But sometimes when my body can go no more on the limited hours of sleep that it gets, it desperately needs to rest and so I breakdown and rely on the medicine to get what my body needs. It is no joke not being able to rest your body. When someone who cares about you says; “wow I wish I could sleep in”, knowing that you suffer from a lack of sleep it really hurts your feelings. It seems as if they don’t care. But I have decided perhaps they don’t really understand the severity of my condition and are just speaking out of ignorance.
I challenge you all to try to make a commitment to those around you to really listen to what they are trying to say. Sometimes they may not be able to articulate it eloquently through words, sometimes you will need to go behind the words or the actions to really be able to understand. Just try to look at things from their perspective and be understanding and never judging. We all should have the opportunity to be heard. Please hear me.
The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa
