I was super bummed when I finished writing a lovely post about relationships this morning and clicked on the publish button and to my surprise or perhaps my demise half of the post was missing. I had to trash what was left and decided to walk away until this evening.
But in the efforts to post something of wisdom, something positive, something motivating everyday I am re-doing my earlier post in hopes that I capture the essence that I wanted to.
Relationships are a huge part of life that shapes who we are, who we become, and how we handle all the other aspects of our lives. I was not at all great at relationships. Not that I didn’t have any but I didn’t have healthy ones, at least not for me. I called myself a chameleon. I would change myself into whatever type of person that relationship wanted. I hid my heart, my dreams, my desires and wants deep inside. It really didn’t matter, no one seemed to want to know the “real” Lisa anyway. But just like any other woman I wanted a relationship where I could be me; the real me.
It didn’t come until after the healing process started during my depression that I began to understand the why’s of my unhealthy relationships. God had to show me that I was worthy. Me, Lisa, was worth something more than what I had experienced in these unhealthy relationships. But I didn’t know that then and that was my problem. I equated my worth with how pleased the other person was with me. And since I wasn’t even sharing the real me I didn’t realize that what they were giving me in return was not equal to my worth. Whatever they offered I thought that was all that I was worth! But God said no! That is not who you are, you are beautiful, lovely, and unique because He made me that way. I was worthy of great things because God said so.
When God gave me the man of my dreams, I didn’t know if I could pass the test and use my new-found wisdom to cultivate the relationship in a healthy way. And sure enough the old me came slipping back into play, but God stopped me every time I tried to revert back to my old ways. Craig, (my fiance) is a wonderful man of God and he was very patient with me in my learning stage. He has taught me a lot about love, patience and friendship and today he is my best friend!
I explain more about my experience with relationships in my upcoming book: The Butterfly’s Journey coming soon!
The Butterfly Journey – Lisa
My husband is my best friend as well. Thank God for him – he has given me so much.
It’s wonderful to see two people truly appreciate each other!