When I was suffering from depression and beginning my healing process with God; I had to ask myself some tough questions. Why did I end up that way? What were some of the things that I personally did that contributed to my situation?
It took all the emotional strength that I could muster up to ask those questions. I was frightened more by the thought of what the answers were. But I had to know, I couldn’t move forward in my healing without knowing the truth. I never wanted to travel to that place again.
As I saw myself in the mirror of God’s eyes it cut me as deep as a double-edged sword. The darkness that surrounded me was overwhelming. I didn’t even recognize myself. But in the writing of my book I now realize now raw those pains still are. Whenever I share my testimony, I get emotional about the imagery that God showed me of my life. It grieves my soul!
But still everyday, I look in that mirror of myself to see where I am now. I see the miraculous changes that only God could do. I see a woman full of life and purpose. I see the light of life surrounding me taking the place of the darkness that once followed and plagued me. I can’t forget that woman in the mirror, she is my sister, my friend, she is me. I will continue to advocate for her and pray for her and help her to find her place in life. It is not easy looking at yourself in the mirror; seeing your life as it really is.
But I wanted to endure that so that I can be real for other women who are going through their storms of life. I want to tell them the whole process; every detail is important to the healing process and growth. You can’t just give someone the beginning and the end and never share the middle of your story. It does them no good at all. Everyone wants to know that they are not the only one who has suffered, who has gone through bad things. They want to relate to some piece of your story so they know that you truly understand.
Once they see you on the other side they wonder if they too can be healed. That is why it is so important for me to share, to minister, to pray with and to love all the hurting women no matter what they face because I know that through it all God can redeem you. He can and He will turn your ashes into beauty if you allow Him to.
If only I could touch a 1,000 lives then I know my journey would not have been in vain.
The Butterfly Journey – Lisa
