A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with kidney failure. While I didn’t know what that meant fully, I knew it wasn’t good. After ending up in the hospital for about a week because of the fluid overload and my body trying to fight I realized that my situation was way more dire than I thought.
This new health challenge had bought my mortality to the forefront of my mind. And with that came thoughts about my relationship with God. Had I been cultivating a pure connection with Father God like I knew I needed to? It would take several months of being vulnerable and open to listening for God to tell me or show me my true self during this time.
I can honestly say, I cried an awful lot during this time period, and I asked God many, many questions. Not questions like, “why me”, but more like “if my time on earth is over, what is it that do you want me to do before I leave?” My heart was hurting just thinking that I had wasted my entire life and didn’t complete anything that the Lord had wanted me to do.
But over the course of this time God showed me how to walk with Him. He taught me to lean on Him each day. Do you remember when the children of Israel were in the wilderness and God provided them with manna each day? That is what he began to do for me. Each day He would give me peace and grace for the challenges of that day and at the end of each day when I came to bow before Him in prayer, I would find He was always there for me.
There have been setbacks and challenges along the way during this journey but each day I walk with God, He reminds me that He is there with me no matter what. I know that sometimes God allows things to come to get our attention back to Him like it should be and to be honest if this is my test then I am grateful that Father God thinks of me enough to get me back on track to what He has for my life. And not only that but just the opportunity to know Him in the most intimate way is priceless to me.
I am thankful that I am learning to walk with Father God in the way that He is most pleased and honored. I want my life to be a testimony to the goodness of God! And I want to complete my life with integrity and grace and fulfill the purpose God has designed for my life. I want to live and die with no regrets!
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me,
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
