I have come to the realization that writing is therapy for me. The things I can’t say, I can write. I can be my original self through words, words that are deep in my heart, but words that sometimes I can’t express in speech.
I guess that is why God had me write my first book; The Butterfly’s Journey. It allowed me to share my journey in the most personal way that I could. It allowed me the freedom to spill my deepest hurts and pain onto the page without worrying about judgement of others.
Like today, as I lay on my couch in deep thought about my life and where I am, where I desire to be, and where I have been the thought of talking to anyone about it made me recoil inside. I have a lot of scars from my past that some people won’t understand, some won’t care, and others don’t really matter. I continue on my “butterfly” journey every day. It is a process that will never end until my life is over here on earth.
Each day reveals a new challenge, a new knowledge and wisdom into allowing God to direct me to the place in my heart that He wants me to be. I go over in my mind all the time about why God loves me so much and I can only figure out because He made me and I am His child that His love for me is eternal.
When I go back to the place that I was in over 3 years ago (depression), I remember that God was there for me. No one in this entire world was there, but God. He loved me in my deepest unstableness. He wiped every tear of pain away and cleaned away the dark parts of my heart so that I could live again!
It is easy to allow yourself to think that people, relationships, careers. . .things could ever replace or be like God is in your life, but there is no comparison.
I don’t know when it starts, but in most of our lives we have grown up with the notion that we must fit in, or be a certain way in order to receive the love, admiration, success, and popularity that we all gravitate to. And in our quest to get those things we become lost in who we really are, who God made us to be. If we never make a “shift” in our own thinking we will never know the full purpose of our lives. If you never get tired of being everything to everybody and seeking to find your purpose in life, the real you; you will end up dying with your purpose still inside of you.
Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t want that. I don’t want to have to perform to have the love I feel I deserve from my family and friends. I don’t want to be just like everyone else, because that is what is expected of me. I want to be me. . .Lisa. . .the woman who God created to fulfill a purpose with my life. I want to feel liberated to stretch my creativity, live my life on purpose and make a difference in someone elses life.
Is it too much to ask for you to love me for who I am in my most original self? Can I ask you to help me navigate this thing called life in the most marvelous way that I can, which is being me with all of my faults, my unstableness, my quirkyness and everything that makes me me?
That’s what The Butterfly Journey Ministry is striving to do, just being there for women to help them find their place in life, to find that “real” you who is stuck behind the walls of pain and disappointment. We want to celebrate you just for how God made you! Will the real you please stand up?!
The Butterfly Journey ~ Lisa
